Week 2 of Work of Art and already we have a contestant talking about making a work of literal shit. Funny. We generally see that unintentionally on this show!
Easy joke, I know.
We are also going to see the ugly crier ugly cry!
And well, fecalphelia makes me want to fucking cry, so why not head on into this shit show and get on with it?
The idea of these asshats trying to justify their decision to make a project out of Parkour inspiration into a sculpture depicting literal digestion and ending in shit to Simon de Pury, is hilarious. Simon’s face can’t express disdain, confusion and horror any better, and after his powwow reminding them that at any point they can change their minds – ”digestion” group becomes…wait for it…”playground” group.
Because of parkour! Get it!? It’s fun! People jumping around! IT’S SO SUBVERSIVE.
Other group made of some artists is doing other stuff is having issues because Ugly Crier needs to make her sculptures out of her rotting Crohn’s colon and it just doesn’t fit into the groups vision and she can’t possibly stray from her tableau!
And then she compared herself to Frances Bacon.
Hold up holdup holdupholdup – Ima let you finish, but Frances Bacon is one of the most emotionally raw, viscerally expressive artists of all time. OF ALL TIME. You’re just a chick with ironic glasses and poorly coordinated lipstick choices.
“curate that shit!”
“you want me to stray from my tableau?!”
“hurry up and make some art”
“it’s so semen like”
“I thought it would be fun to cast my tongue…”
“I don’t even know what it means, but I usually come up with something” – fucking Lola. Good for you. And thank you for pointing out why I mercilessly mock this show weekly.
Sucklord said it best: “She really is a super villain”.
“it’s a bad minimalist art object”
THE GALLERY SHOW
Sucklord: He made a game called Flip the Rat or something like that. It was like a carnival game. At least he put some thought into it…and it looked like fun.
Beyete: Filmed himself pulling a ‘Jack and Kate’ ala Titanic and just spun in circles. ART PEOPLE. IT’S ART.
Sarah J: A TERRIFYING primitive looking clay sculpture on a swing. It’s super boring. And she imprinted a little vulva on the sculpture too which was nice. And pointless.
Kymia: Made her tongue…licking what looked like the a Tremor…
Someone: did an ‘abstract rollercoaster’. Guys? Guys, it’s just unpainted K’Nex, right? That’s all that’s going on here? Ok. Ok. Just making sure.
Michelle: Made a sculpture about shit. And there was a boner too. Thank god it didn’t involve real shit. But the work was shitty so there is that. I’m disappointed in her. I think this was a token copout and worse, it wasn’t even shocking shock art. It was just a stick figure shitting in a park.
Dusty: The scariest goddamn teeter totter I’ve ever seen.
Tewz: I dont know what’s going on here. There’s a bucket. And a slappy hand. I’m at a loss – isn’t this guy the graffiti artist? Where’s the expression!? The judges said his work “was just…nothing”. Yup.
Lola: Says she’s ‘kinda into’ her work. That makes one of us!
Kathryn: Made a video of what it looks like when she eats spicy food. That is to say, it’s really crappy new media. The judges explained to her that her style of work represents a limitation of means, vision and thought. And considering she cannot possibly think past her own style to make a collection of works with her group, I’d say that sounds about right.
And then she cried. She cried so hard she became a jostling troll with a mouth full of blood and ironic glasses on it’s beady eyes and convulsed like a shaken newborn. She was also kicked off, so if you missed the bloodvomit troll, you will have to rely on youtube clips.
I don’t even remember who won this goddamn show because I was too consumed by garbage all night. No one really deserved it this week. Here’s hoping they’ve absorbed what the judges had to say and can pass that on to their next piece of work, instead of just dumping out whatever load of crap they manage to bind together with gel and glue sticks.
Before my brain turns to scat, I’m heading out of here. I’ve made one too many shitty jokes tonight, no?