I hate kid art.
Ok that’s strong. But generally speaking…I dislike it.
Someone doesn’t know how to spell.
Someone gets choked up.
Let’s do this.
I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m really not. I like kids. And I love when they are able to express themselves through the arts. It’s so important. I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way, you know?
One kid drew a carrot on a beach.
It makes no sense.
And yet, I appreciate her thinking outside the box! Maybe I won’t hate this challenge at all!
Sucklord seems really into this project. He got a bit teary eyed when talking about how important it was to him to make the work reflect his challenge-kid, and judge his success by if the kid likes it. Sweet!
Sara. Sara sarasara you are spelling divorce incorrectly YOU ARE SPELLING DIVORCE INCORRECTLY OHMYGOD SPELL CHECK THIS SHIT YOU ARE ON TV. There is no S! NO S!!
Also, her challenge-kid did a collage of woodblock words which included “Bacon” “Chocolate” and “Pirates”. I love it. I love that kid. There. I said it.
Dusty is doing a pretty literal interpretation of his challenge-kids work which includes a flat surface with flaps that open to reveal visual representations of his kid. Since he is an art teacher for kids, I think he’s got this. I’ve also been pretty happy with his work through the show so I’m excited to see the final piece this week.
Lola is doing another mountain. And then when she was told that sucked, she painted some flowers. Cuz her kid did a flower.
Young is running around in his underwear and covering himself in feathers.
Tewz is incorrectly mixing concrete.
Kymia is showing her skills with a really interesting illustration of a dead kid. I thought she could have gone surreal with the “Carrot on the Beach” scene and had like, a living fruit basket walking a pier and fishing for diamonds with meat-clouds floating by…but I’m into the direction she’s taking it!
“I get to play with paint and clay and crayons all day. I feel like I’m in a kindergarten class”
“I like the kid’s work better”
“I’m gonna get medieval on you”
“bleep bleep this bleep rocks I stand by bleep…bleep“
GALLERY SHOW / FINAL JUDGING
Sucklord: Secret Tree. Let’s be honest. It’s not great. It looks incomplete. The idea is great but it just fell really short. I feel like he could have really pushed himself and created a great bizarre, surrealistic piece and he ended up with just this red tree with some Star Wars figures shoved in it. I understand the intent, but the execution just wasn’t there.
Tewz: “Grow” is a concrete word with grass coming out of it. It was uninspired and unfortunate because again, I think this guy has real talent and he needs to get back to his roots of graffiti and illustration. To say “it was a still life of fruit – what else could I do?” is a real fucking cop out. Everyone from Caravaggio to Picasso has done fruit still lifes – figure it out, Brosef.
Dusty: I liked his piece even though it was super simple. But you know what? Sometimes you really need to keep it simple, stupid. And his kid really loved being a part of the piece, which I think is really important. The judges seemed to appreciate his doing a mature take of the kids work – and let’s face it, that kids work is pretty sophisticated in itself.
Michelle: Did a fantastic paper sculpture that I think really complimented her kid’s work. She wasn’t in the top, but I am glad she has come back to her paper-art roots and stopped fixating on literal shit. That honestly concerned me…But this piece is whimsical, thoughtful and it makes me want to see more from her.
Kymia: Her illustration of a young girl who swallowed a house, the dog and a tree and died from a carrot. It was a really great compliment to her kids work and finally showed that this woman has some chops. She matched the realism in her illustration with her surreal subject beautifully. Overall, I think I liked her piece the best…and so did the judges! SHE WON!
Sara: Wept. She WEPT on television, though she wasn’t nearly as ugly as that other girl whose name I won’t bother remembering. Though, she wept because when she was 10yrs old, her parents divorced under shitty circumstances. And this is exactly why I need to create my show called “Get Over It”. You are an adult. My parents had a shit divorce and still can’t be in the same room together and I’m 28.
You know what? I got over it. When I was a CHILD. Because life’s too goddamn short to bitch and complain about shit your parents did when you were a kid and let it hang over you for life. Bootstraps, Sara. Bootstraps.
AND WHY DID NO ONE CORRECT HER ON THE SPELLING OF DIVORCE?!
Jesus Christ, do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?