This is it. The end of a super fun season filled with wolf-t’s, assholes, leather vests, “celebrities”, silicone and lots of make-up.
Kind of sounds like we’ve been a part of a sequel to Showgirls or a really raunchy Vegas show at the pool of the Flamingo Hotel. And this episode has enough bare boobs to make it so.
Either way, it’s been something, something. Hasn’t it?
It’s down to four…which is strange, right? I mean…even America’s Next Top Model gets it down to three, then kicks someone off right when they fly them around the world, then has the remaining two girls walk on a moving runway that is on fire and held by child labor-midgets who are wearing couture and smizing. THEN they pick a winner.
But I digress – we’ve got Gage, Sam, Conor and Tate – my four favorite people in the competition, vying for the prize of Face Off Champion, $100k (which would cover, oh, my student loans and groceries…maybe) and a massive supply of Alcone Make-up. Really though, the prize here would be to get to know all the professionals and hopefully secure some jobs after this competition is over. I’m hoping that just by being on the show means these guys will secure the jobs they want – tv is generally a wasteland of the lowest common denominator, but I feel like these people are actually decent, seemingly nice and obviously talented. I wish them all the best.
The final challenge is to take a fairy tale and re-imagine two characters from it. This is clearly a huge challenge – two full characters?! – but that is where the asshole’s come in. Lit’rally. In true, predictable, reality show fashion, they bring back everyone else from the season to help these guys out. Problem is, there are a bunch of lackluster artists and well, Frank, Jo and Megan-the-Asshole’s running around.
Gage chose Hansel And Grettle and is putting them into an industrial wasteland.
I like the idea! Frankly,those kids were out galavanting in the woods aka in a creepy industrial wasteland when they weren’t supposed to, little shits deserve to get the crap scared out of them by a witch who is trying to eat them. It’s only fair. The execution was pretty great, if not completely bizarre and scary. I mean, why was the witch hanging out with a broken jaw full of metal? I’m not sure it matters really, because he kept making me think about his work and I wanted to get longer looks so, job well done in peaking my interest!
Tate picked the fairytale Little Red Riding Hood, and set her into a post-apocalyptic scene.
One where a clan of Riding Hoods are out to destroy the Big Bad Werewolf. This Riding Hood has a gatling gun for an arm. It’s a little Planet Terror, but I like it anyway! And his werewolf is like some albino nightmare with glowing eyes and silly posture. “I said when I came into this competition that I wanted to make a fucking werewolf, and I made a fucking werewolf”. Yes you did, Tate. Yes you did.
Conor picked the tale The Frog Prince and put it in a haunted theme. While he had some problems with air-bubbles in his head piece, he made it work beautifully. He even created a throat that would inflate when his actor blew into a tube – a delicate detail that really gave life to the piece. I hate to say it, but Frank-the-Asshole made a wizard-staff that would be the envy of all Middle Earth. I love Conor’s style and his vision for his work. It is certainly more classical in style, but I love his approach and his attention to detail and his overall consistency.
And as an aside: his earth-witch lady had skin like bark, but most importantly had discoloring that made her look like she had Vitiligo…and as someone with that fantastical condition, I say hooray for skin condition solidarity! I will now consider myself worthy of being a sort of terrifying witch based on my skin’s color palate!
Sam picked the tale, The Little Mermaid and is using a psychedelic theme. Needless to say I am completely disappointed. First of all, the design is just flat. The mermaid’s face had some really cool elements and the colors were fantastic, but her arms, legs and part of her face was totally bare. And the poor jellyfish witch woman was forced to stand there, barely painted and topless – you could see her discomfort in straining to keep her arms up in order to cover herself. And I mean, she was just barely a jellyfish with a strange head shall thingy and some body paint. Sad, Sam. You could have done better, you do not win.
And the winner is…
really well timed commercial break…
“before we say who the winner is I want to say….”
The winner is Conor!!! Hooray!!! Even better, he may even be wearing a wolf-t, but it’s hard to tell. Gage and Tate were honestly gracious and excited for him, and I have a feeling they will be successful in their own right. Commercials indicate that Season Two of Face Off is already looking for artists, so we will be back for another handful of weeks to give you our honest opinions and recaps of the show. Until then, here’s something I found on the interwebs that I think you might like. Thanks guys!