In continuing my tradition of being totally obsessed with reality tv, I bring you Episode 2 of SyFy’s genius show, Face Off.
This episode has it all: rejection, famous guests, idiocy, reallyreallyreally cool projects (and a disastrous tattoo contest) and a string of naked folks.
Ooh, and one contestant says “I like tribal tattoos”. These people are amazing. Let’s explore more!
So, this episode is about working with skin and ink. Naturally the producers want to bring some sultry/rating gold aspects to the show, so they conjure up reasons to get naked people on tv. Which, I get. Who doesn’t like looking at naked people? But before we can get to the hott stuff, we go through a really bizarre ‘tattoo’ challenge.
With special judge and artist extraordinaire Thomas Pendelton (of Inked and Tattoo Highway) to judge the contestants on the initial challenge, they were in for a challenge. Frank the Asshole (as he will for this season be known) 1. has blacklight tattoos (who are you, Lil Wayne?) and 2. instead of coming up with his own original work for this challenge, he instead just drew over his existing tattoos in black ink. Thankfully, Pendelton called him out on his unoriginality and lack of imagination. Impressive work done by Tate (a deer skull on his forearm) was lovely and would translate well to film, and some other artists work demonstrated their strengths and weaknesses…weaknesses like not realizing painting your tattoo while looking in a mirror will result in a backward tattoo.
And then, it was “nothing but boobs and wieners…everywhere”.
Which is cool, because this challenge really showed some true colors of our erstwhile contestants.
Like Frank the Asshole. Who didn’t want to have to paint a nude man. Presumably because he wasn’t sure
he could contain his deep seeded homoerotic tendencies from being outed. Or, he’s a homophobe. Which is pretty much the same thing, right? His work wasn’t bad. It was boring, fairly well executed at least and completely uninventive at best.
At least his co-contestants called him out on his assholery. Sad, but he didn’t even get kicked off, and considering that this is a show about finding the next great sci-fi makeup artist – his bullshit attitude doesn’t bode well for him having a great career working with actors and other performers. And as much as I think Frank the Asshole is…well, you know, it was Sergio got auf’d this round and he deserved it more than anyone for giving us body painting that should have taken someone 30minutes, and it took him 6hrs.
I mean, there are a lot of things wrong here. Certainly, the lack of actual body paint is one of them, but let’s not forget the cultural appropriation going on here (c’mon. Not every tan guy needs to be turned into some praying tribal man, ok?). And what about the fart-cyclone behind him? You know what, don’t even comment on that because I don’t want to think about it anymore.
And in similar “ooh gawd” moments, we had Tate
turn his woman into some sort of lion. Obvs, because of her hair. But then gave her the Mickey Mouse treatment on her face and decided to paint her body like the forest. So…she is kind of a lion…kind of a forest critter. A forest critter that doesn’t blend into the forest and smiles a lot.
As a nice touch, he gave her a pretty white flower on her nip. So artistic, guys! Also: please stop imagining people of color as ‘exotic’. It’s not even offensive anymore, it’s just obnoxious.
Here are some good notes from tonight’s episode to cleanse the palate!
Tom’s work was very well done…minus the ass-sprig which may have cost him the win.
Anthony’s woman-as-stone was very cool, and beautifully executed. He won!
Sam’s details are gorgeous – LOOK at the shirt detail! No. Not there. Up. No, not left and right and left and right…up. Higher. Ok, there. The collar of the shirt, you naughty fools! ;)
Jo’s clown fish is super fun and creative – I love it, and so did the judges.
Gage’s statue, while simplistic, actually had a great deal of detail and special add-ons like the clay hair. All that was missing was a broken off penis from vindictive Popes of yore!
What’s up for next episode? MONSTERS!!!