I can’t tell you how many angry emails, messages and texts I received after missing Season 3’s opening episode and failing to write about it here on The Junkyard first thing Wednesday morning
I love that you missed my article so much! But I was really, really hungover and sick from ‘working’ in New York for a week and, well, I just wasn’t feeling like staring at my computer. Sorry, y’all.
So here is a late review. Let’s start with: Holy crap! Sean Astin is here! And STAR WARS! OMG.
So everyone is showing up at a rooftop party and chillin’ with Samwise Gamgee, which is pretty cool. We hear about the prizes this year which doesn’t stop at the big money, but also the car, and a recurring speaking role at touring make-up exhibitions. Also? The audience gets to vote in the finale! So, the prizes are bigger, and our celeb guests are lining up because obviously everyone loves FaceOff.
QUICKFIRE – Use Plants To Create A Fancy Face
Some of these Quickfires are AWESOME. I love the napkin=burned flesh idea from Joe, but the execution is not so great. I’m a big fan of Derek’s sexy blue cat lady, even though it’s a bit Avatar-esque, I mean, the blending was just beautiful.
And then some of them were awful. Of course, we can’ t totally judge everyone based on a super short challenge…but then again I’m just someone on the internet so here I go! WTF was the dude with the green leaves taped all over his face? Why? What about the ‘super hero’ with an eye mask and….nothing else. Step it up kids, this is Season 3. Don’t disappoint me!
SPOTLIGHT CHALLENGE -Create A Star Wars Cantina Creation
Ok. This is awesome. Creating a creature for Star Wars is probably a dream come true for these artists – for so many of us, Star Wars was our introduction to such a huge world of space critters! And one of my favorite parts of the show is watching the artists sketch out their ideas. I have little to no talent in the illustration field so watching people realize an idea on paper so easily is mesmerizing to me.
Roy & Rod – They are making a creature that is Krang’s pachooey chomp. And it is quite ambitious. In fact, it’s setting the pace for the rest of the season. Also, Rod helped out some of the ladies who were running into some timing issues. I like him.
And the finished product is just ridiculous. And when the model kept sticking his tongue out, I wanted to vom. Excellent.
Alana & Nicole – These girls are having issues with molds, timing, yikes. Their vision is great though, and they are working well together – I just want to see them stick it out!
And I think it worked – I love how their concept is just a working girl. She’s not a bounty hunter. She’s not a warrior. Just a girl with a job trying to get by, payin’ her dues. Love it.
CC & Derek – So. They made an alien with a saxophone. It wasn’t great. Mainly because the paint job was awful.
It’s pretty much Freddie Kruger’s younger brother who left home to pursue art and ended up getting hooked on meth and girls and ended up playing the sax at night clubs to get by. The open shirt and wild hair is kind of sexy though…
Laura & Sara – I love these girls. They have a great vision, I love that they have come up with a whole back story about why their lady from Dagobah has to wear a Bain mask.
The final product is pretty great and fully realized. She had this great perma-smirk about her too. Like she had something to hide and she was willing to tell you, but you didn’t dare get too close.
Eric & Jason -They kind of came up with a Boba Fett alien dude…
He did some karate. It wasn’t that great but it certainly wasn’t the worst.
Joe & Tommy – I wish I had a tiny violin for these two. Between their inability to work together, to Joe battering the model, to Tommy freaking out at the judging panel, and Joe pulling a Nomi Malone and storming out of the place…>sigh<. And then there is the actual piece.
Why do dudes keep putting their ladies in bikinis? Is there no other galactic wardrobe for female creatures? Good lord. Also – wtf is going on here. What is happening to the head? It’s like a pancake with chopped strawberries was slapped on the head. I agree with the judges: it was singularly unimpressive.
THE FINAL DECISION
Joey – disqualified from the competition because he ran away. Que the Joey isn’t here anymore clips from the Real World. <-yes, I know he’s dead now. No I’m not sorry I’m still mocking him.
WINNER: Rod & Roy! Super great work. Happy to see a team come together and make some magic. Roy takes the immunity prize.
LOSER: Tommy. He may have not been totally eliminated, but he needs to start acting like an adult and sucking it up if he wants to win this competition.