Face Off S2: Rock Your Body in Your Birthday Suit
Welcome back! This episode we have a quickfire, some bullshit, some nips, some peen…
Yes, it’s time for the Face Off Body Paint challenge. I know you guys have been waiting all year for this one, ya pervs.
Let’s get to it!
QUICKFIRE – do a blind makeup with a team
Jerry, Sue, Miranda - Jerry is now known as the talent-suck, in which his vortex of assyness sucks all the creative juices from any team members. In this case, he wasn’t horrible with their ‘monster-esque’ makeup, and the team seemed to follow his lead well enough.
Brea, Heather, Tara – For the love of god, can Brea lay off the fucking glitter princess bullshit? Because I’m starting to think she’s got nothing but wigs and some glitter in her bag of tricks and it’s getting old. The other girls did the best they could, but it was a mess.
Rayce, Beki, Ian – They did an alien with some cool prosthetics and considering each of the contestants didn’t know what the other team member was doing, they came out with a cohesive theme!
RJ, Matt, Athena – These guys did a zombie, which I think came out pretty well but the guest judge didn’t seem enthused. Whatevs.
MAIN CHALLENGE – take 2 nude models and paint them into a set scene
Sue is apparently totally embarrassed by the nude models that have stepped into the room.
Coming from art school and being a total perv myself, I will say, flacid penis still makes me giggle so I can’t hate on her. But at the same time – keep it together girlfriend.
Athena was totally down with it. Matt was concerned. Miranda, intrigued!
And you know what? Amrrica needs to get over nipples. Blocking them out but showing them with some paint on them? Just show em’ already. It’s ok. We all have them.
Also, I kind of thought Asher Roth was a joke ‘rapper’. Is this not the case? Are we to take him seriously? And the orange chakra thing? I’m not sure my eyes could roll hard enough over that one, though I certainly tried.
Jerry, Tara – These guys did an alleyway/grate scene worthy of a Russian avant garde film revival…but the makeup was less than satisfactory. Jerry’s blended guy was pretty good considering the complexity of blending a person into a visually slatted surface. Tara on the other hand. Oy.
Her body paint was way to transparent and it just looked like someone wearing brown paint standing in front of a scene. Boring and bad. That’s a challenge.
Rayce, Beki – These two had a rough scene. Their work was a guy coming out of a barn and into some lovely world in which some tiger woman is reaching for him. I think. Ve seemed to like it…I’m not that excited. The woman’s paint was a bit too animal-like for me…that’s all I can really say. I’m just pretty ‘meh’ on the whole thing.
Ian, Miranda – These two had a park scene and created a roller skating lady going for a cup held by a man in a bush. Bush-man. It was clear that they hated this project. I love the rollerskating woman, despite their lack of interest in trying to make anything in this project decent – I think her outfit looked realistic and the model’s attitude helped sell it. The bush-man was pretty bad and while the paint wasn’t horrible, the concept was. Is he totally hidden? Or is he holding that smoothie? The world may never know.
Sue, Heather – I loved the whacky direction these girls took! They made the female model into an elephant who was feeding a peanut to her skateboarding-elephant boyfriend. And the male model blended beautifully into the background. I was really impressed all around with this one and I’m bummed they didn’t get more recognition.
RJ, Athena – I’m not entirely sure I get their theme. There is a pool…and a white lady in a bikini who is glowing and reaching for some orbs? A chakra? I don’t fucking know. The guys paint job was unbelievable though – beautiful lines, really dense colors and skillful blending.
Brea, Matt – Ok, so, Brea’s model is hyperglycemic or he was starving himself before he was totally naked on television. Whichever the case, he passed out and was taken away. Which I think is a first! She ends up having to do the makeup all over again that night, which blows. Their theme was around basketball and a wall of sneakers – and Matt’s work was fucking unbelievable. His woman blended some beautifully with the sneakers, it really was an illusion.
Her ass-basketball was a bit corny and could have been finished better, but ass-ide from that, brilliant. Brea’s basketball player actually looked pretty good, and while I think she is less than a visionary in this competition, she pulled through the bullshit and finished her job which is what you expect from a professional.
WINNER
Lauren’s Pick: Matt – the shoes are dope. Honorable mention to Brea’s second b-ball guy who looked fantastic despite her earlier shittastic performance.
Judge’s Pick: Matt! Because the shoes are dope.
Sayonara: Miranda. Sorry kiddo.
Syfy /
