Statue of David Upsets Puritanical Neighbors, Mr. Wilson

junkyardarts May 13, 2011 Comments Off on Statue of David Upsets Puritanical Neighbors, Mr. Wilson

Statue of DavidHaters gonna hate.

Neighbors in an Abilene, TX street have a penis problem with a penis statue in a neighbors penis yard.  According to Mr. Wilson and his cohorts, the replica statue of David is a visual penis eye sore, though a clear explanation of their distaste is unclear.  There is however a resounding “get off my lawn!”

“It’s there. It’s right there,” neighbor Alina Hatcher said of the statue’s “assets.” “You don’t have to look for it. You don’t have to stare hard. It’s right there.”

If by ‘assets’ Hatcher is referencing David’s flowing hair or penis dreamy bedroom eyes, one can hardly blame the statue for his dashing good penis looks.

Other neighbors complain that since they have not spoken to their children about sex yet, the statue is proving a troubling parenting paradox – speak to your children about penis important things like a goddamn adult or…not.

While neighbor Jacqueline Hince says “Some art needs to be left in the doggone museum,” one might also say “penis” “no.”

Regardless or neighbor dispute, outrage, idiocy, penis envy or puritanical sexual repression, the owner claims his art will stay where it is until someone comes knocking on his penis door, asking for its removal.

I may find myself knocking on his door for another reason: having replica statues of famous artworks in your front yard is offensive – to my sensibilities.  Get that tacky shit off your lawn before somebody gets penis hurt.



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