Santanic Art In Denver Airport, Also: Dicks

junkyardarts July 26, 2013 2
Santanic Art In Denver Airport, Also: Dicks

The fun thing about art criticism is that anyone can do it. Everyone’s a critic! Art is a form of communication that works both ways: while an artist may be trying to say one thing with their art, the viewer may be taking away something much different. Mainly: evil dicks. They are everywhere.

William Tapley, known in wide circles as The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, and Co-Prophet of the End Times, finds dicks in everything he sees, and talks about it at length on his YouTube channel. He focuses quite a bit on the Denver International Airport, as dick be all over the walls in there. He has made a number of videos about all the dick in the airport, from the murals (penguin is a dick), to the fiberglass horse sculpture that stands outside (hair is made of tons of dicks), and his assertions caught the attention of someone well versed in dick: silver fox Anderson Cooper.

In fact, these two dick aficionados hashed it out over various episodes of the Ridiculist and retaliatory YouTube videos by Tapley.

I’m sure Tapley isn’t focusing his efforts on my early Contemporary art because, well, there was certainly no attempt to hide phallic imagery. I mean, some of the art was literally just dicks all over the place, and a lot of it was made by openly gay men, so why bother pointing out the obvious? New York in the late 80’s: Satan’s Penis Playground.

I find it kind of hilarious, though, that Tapley manages to find the dicks in everything, without even acknowledging the actually creepy and horrifying artwork in the airport!

denver airport gargoyle gargoyles in denver airport

Why are we focusing on dicks when we could be focusing on terrifying monsters crawling out of our suitcases when we get out of baggage claim?!

denver airport murals

denver airport murals

Or, I dunno. Dead kids.

What really tickles my bone, is why Tapley is so totally obsessed with relatively few examples of dick in the airport. Why he thinks that the hidden dicks symbolize satanic worship…at an airport. Really, why is he so hard up on the cock?

Achilles sculpture, nude in art,

So I sat and I thought about it for about 6 seconds until it came to me.  As with most proselytizing ignoramus art-critics go, we need only to look in our hearts and our dicks for the answer.  The lady doth protest too much, methinks

YouTube /

2 Comments »

  1. Mike Hardaker July 27, 2013 at 9:05 pm -

    Great article, what about Dick’s Sporting Goods Park? For more info on the Denver Airport Murals and secret city under the airport visit: http://mtnweekly.com/denver-airport-paintings

  2. vlad November 23, 2013 at 9:49 am -

    he must be dickslectic….lol…