An Open Letter to Sinead: GTFO

junkyardarts October 3, 2013 Comments Off on An Open Letter to Sinead: GTFO
An Open Letter to Sinead: GTFO

Dear Sinead,

I get it. Your overwhelming concern for Miley Cyrus’ wellbeing prompted you to craft a letter that only someone with a deeply resonating motherly love for Miley would write. I’m not sure how it ended up on the internet though. Would someone truly concerned for the wellbeing of another write a slut-shaming, concern-trolling open letter about being demure and staying a ‘precious young lady’ while calling her an unwitting prostitute for the music industry?

I didn’t think so.

Do you know how many people have seen my boobs? It’s got to be in the hundreds, and it may be in the thousands depending on the page views certain sources had at the time. That’s not even counting the in-person viewings. You know what else is crazy? A very good friend of mine?  He did a full nude spread in a college porn magazine.

For real.

I mean, you can only imagine the horrible things that have come from these tawdry affairs. The horrors that have followed us through our lives since our purity was tarnished. Except that there were none, really. At all. Because sometimes 20-somethings do seriously questionable shit and the only thing that comes from it is a really good story.  In Miley’s case, it’s a lot of money.  A lot.  And you know what else? That’s ok!

So here’s what I think. Shut the fuck up. Seriously. It’s super awesome that you are jumping on the pearl-clutching Miley Cyrus bandwagon to get some cheap press for yourself. Shit, I’m doing it right now! The difference is I’m not getting all up in your grill about your past life choices.  I don’t know why you did any of the things you did throughout your career and I don’t know how those things affected you, other than what you have spoken about publicly. So why do you presume that Miley is somehow out of control and in need of your counsel?

Miley is an adult.  She can make grown-up decisions, like how she wants her career to go.  Thus far, Miley hasn’t done anything any other pop starlet hasn’t done in the past ever-years, or any other 20-something I have seen in a club (seriously, have you seen kids these days in public? Yeesh. Also: I’m old now).

I haven’t seen her vulva, unlike some other stars  people, so she even gets bonus points!

You know what really yanks my crank?  The night of the VMA’s, Lady Gaga performed in a thong so high up her ass it could have cut her in half.  I heard nothing about Gaga’s purity.  Everyone’s got a problem when girls grow up to be women and those women don’t end up the way the public expected them to.

I understand your point about surrounding herself with good people – that is great advice for everyone!  But the presumption that she isn’t surrounded by people that support decisions she is making on her own is some serious projection on your part.  Just because bad shit happened to you in your career doesn’t mean it’s happening to her.  Though I will agree on a few points:

1. Guys gawking at her naked body in that ridiculous video doesn’t mean they love her.

2. Miley is worth more than her body and sex appeal.

3. That she should fire whomever is advising her.  Though I would make this specific to whomever said she should make a video with that rape-y son of a bitch Terry Richardson.  That guy is vile and I suggest never working for that talentless, shit-stain again.

And as for your suggestion that her ‘body is for her boyfriend’: my eyes can’t roll hard enough. Literally, I want them to roll more but it’s painful.  It should go without saying, but Miley can be naked in front of whomever she wants.  She’s also allowed to make money off it.  She is old enough to know that this could be seen as problematic.  It’s not her job to worry whether or not her public appearances meet your arbitrarily puritanical standards.

If in 10 years Miley decides she isn’t happy about decisions she made in her 20’s, that’s on her and no one else, and it’s certainly not your place to berate her in a public forum whilst feigning concern.

Women don’t have to, and shouldn’t, blindly support other women for the sake of the women’s movement, but maybe we should trust other women to make decisions for themselves rather than assuming their life choices are disastrous because they aren’t the ones we would make personally.

– Lauren, former 20-something who turned out just fine.


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