Expendables Franchise Scouring Every Action Film for Fresh Meat

junkyardarts August 16, 2012 Comments Off on Expendables Franchise Scouring Every Action Film for Fresh Meat
Expendables Franchise Scouring Every Action Film for Fresh Meat

Expendables II is coming to theatres in a matter of days, and my pants are barely staying up!  I mean to start we have my future ex-husband, Sly Stallone? Jason Statham? Terry Crews? Dolf?!  The first film was a meat-parade and my loins could barely contain it.

Add to that the promise of a lot more Bruce Willis and effing THOR, and the second film is guaranteed to be on my favorites list.

But with all the excitement over this latest installation, action lovers can’t help but speculate who could possibly be added to a third one.  Producer Avi Lerner has some thoughts, and so do I!

First, we’ve got some fairly solid confirmations, speculations and possibilities.

Possibility: Clint Eastwood.  Apparently they are currently in talks with Dirty Harry about making an appearance.  Certainly seems like a good fit, considering Eastwood has played so many iconic action characters over his decades-long career.

Possibility: Harrison Ford.  Also awesome, but I expect he will either be a Dad On A Mission, or a Wise Cracking Scientist.  I’m ok with either as long as he wears a leather jacket.

Fairly Solid Confirmation: Nicolas Cage.  The Caginator.  The Bee-Whisperer. The Mystery.  The Greatest American Actorb – the ‘b’ is for Best. (that’s high praise).

Speculation: Wesley Snipes.  Obviously a great choice, but the dudes locked up.  Here’s hoping he gets out in time for filming!

Now here’s some thoughts from an Action Movie Professional (me).  Feel free to send along some finder’s fee royalties when you hire these folks and your movie is a smashing success:

Michael Dudikoff – He’s the American Ninja. Also: Tron. Nuff’ said.

Michael Biehn – Scrappy, terrorized and he looks like he’s living in a secret bunker in South Dakota.  Totally sexy.  I mean, action-y.

Jackie Chan – DUH.

Kurt Russell – Flat-top haircut required.  See also: wide-armed tank top and bad attitude.

Linda Hamilton – Let’s add to the list of badass ladies in these movies.  We’re getting a taste of it in Exp II, but why stop there?  I imagine Linda being an ex-Marine, running a farm in the Midwest, hoarding her weapons cache in her barn, ready to grapple with some bad-dudes, break necks and feed the bodies to her pigs.  Make it happen, Hollywood.

Danny Trejo – Even though he’s been around for ages, he’s still kind of the new-guard of super action movies with his later ascent into stardom.  Also, I’m never disappointed when he’s on the screen.

Billy Drago – Look at him.  They’ve already had Eric Roberts.  Now it’s Drago’s turn.

Hologram Patrick Swayze – Rippin’ throats & dancing on the carcass from the grave.

What do you think?  Have I missed anyone?

Expendables II / Total Film /

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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