These special snowflakes are at it again – teasing me tenderly with their god-ordained love about a reality show to end all reality shows. And best yet, they are expanding their family: with a terrified terrier and a monster with pink fur, whose name is Bizarre.
She wasn’t even clever enough to call him Bizzarro, or Biz-a-rino, bless her heart.
I am also disturbingly fascinated by her top slowly falling off her shoulder and revealing her virginal-totally-unmodified-under-18-breasts until I realized that, thank YAHWEH, she was modestly covered and supported by her clear bra straps. It’s like she has tiny clear plastic angels keeping those buhbies contained and properly stored away until her
grandfather husband need to use them.
And when asked what attracted her to him, she said baby jebus come to her down the chimney and gently led her to his
wallet website. She joyously exclaimed “His face. His bod-ay. His sexy hair…He seduced me immediately. When you find that one man…his FACE his BODY his HAIR”.
And in a strange uncharacteristic turn of self awareness, she stated his attraction to her was that she had ‘a lot in front of her’.
They say they are being seduced to do a reality show, but we are really the lucky ones. I don’t know what I was doing before these two crazy kids came on the scene, but I do know that my brain in melting from their burning love now. I’m getting on my knees at bedside praying to the spagetti monster in the sky that these cultural icons get their own show as a testament to their love. Stat.
Don’t put it on me, girl. Don’t. Put it on. Me.