How To Alienate Everyone: Naked Cripple Dancing

junkyardarts September 18, 2012 2
How To Alienate Everyone: Naked Cripple Dancing

I just can’t even with this.

You know at first I really tried to come up with a reason why this performance even existed (it’s from 2005 and is actually considered an important piece of work).  Were they in the mind of a handicap person?  Are they mental patients living out their naked dreams?  Is there a purpose for this piece other than ‘watch us try to dance in crutches lolrotflbbq’?

And then I realized – this show must be a result of really important art people getting together and jerking each other off for a few hours.  Everyone said yes to everything, and this monstrosity was born.

Had the silly sound effects been dropped, and the arm braces/crutches/canes been transformed into actual pieces of the performers bodies instead of a prop where it would be super cool to pretend that we, the extremely talented and agile dancers of the company, would just pretend for a while that we were crippled because: art, this could have been saved.

Instead it’s a naval gazing piece of theatrical bullshit that inadvertently makes me laugh so hard I might pee myself every time I view it. So I suppose it isn’t entirely devoid of value.

Dick pole.

Youtube /


  1. Holly September 18, 2012 at 10:30 am -

    I enjoyed how bad this was!!!

  2. junkyardarts September 24, 2012 at 9:16 pm -

    i knew you would!